Gayle Marvin Pace
December 30, 1928 - September 3, 2011
My grandfather on the Pace side passed away this past September. "Papa," as the grandchildren called him, had amazing life experiences and I wanted to post some of his pictures and share some of his eulogy. Just prior to his death, Papa's health was rapidly declining and it was discovered that he had cancer. Although he passed away sooner than expected it was somewhat of a blessing because it would have been a very painful decline. My grandmother, "Mema," passed away years ago and it was hard for Papa to find any joy in life after her vivid and radiant presence had left him. I am happy that he gets to be with her now.
Papa wasn't your typical grandpa. I always thought that he, along with Mema, was the only grandparent of his kind. As a child I saw him as old-world glamour in the present, always groomed and dressed to impress, with his "hello darling" or "hi beautiful" every time he greeted me. He and Mema were always traveling around the world and coming home with exotic presents for us and a story behind each. Mema would show me the new piece of jewelry he'd picked out for her (lapis lazuli earrings from Peru or a purse of fine leather from Barcelona) and she and I would always agree that he had immaculate taste. He always seemed "cool," letting the grandkids take his Mercedes to prom and understanding the teen jargon of the week. He always wore jewelry, and it looked fantastically masculine. I loved that he wore rings with jewels. I remember, when I was very young, Papa showing me a pinky ring he wore with some sort of rock that had a fuzzy glimmer in it that he told me was "tiger's eye." I used to explore the house he and Mema had in the valley and play with all the fascinating things they'd picked up all over the world. He and Mema would dress up in black tie and go to parties with his old fraternity brothers and her sorority sisters. They would blast their jazz music in their cars and through the house. During family parties I would love to listen to papa's hearty laugh and witty jokes. I loved to go into their den while he was watching sports games on TV. His competitive personality made any game exciting.
Parts of Papa's life were hard. Much of his childhood he lived with an aunt or his grandparents, and by his senior year of high school he was out of the house for good, living in a YMCA until he went to college. Papa was a spectacular athlete. He especially excelled in baseball and football. The reason he lived in a YMCA was that his parents moved before his senior year and he didn't want to leave his high school sports teams as well as any potential scholarships in his future. He paid for his room and board himself, working as a lifeguard and teaching swim lessons. His football team at Santa Ana High won the National Championship in the coliseum in 1946. A scout for the Chicago Cubs tried to get Papa to sign to play baseball out of high school. In one of the few times Papa's father involved himself in Papa's life, he advised papa to get his college education instead. He was offered football scholarships by USC and UCLA and decided to go with UCLA. His reasoning was that he believed a scholarship at USC didn't mean playing time, whereas at UCLA it did. At UCLA he played for the legendary football coach Red Sanders, who played a big role in developing Papa's work ethic. One of Papa's favorite sayings from Coach Sanders was, "It does matter if you win or lose...so play the game to win!" Papa was a three year letterman at UCLA and an All-American in 1951. He was known as Ironman Pace because he played both ways: center on offense and middle linebacker on defense. He played every snap both ways. I always saw Papa as a big guy, and he must have been to play center at UCLA, but to give you an idea of how things have changed, he told Eric and I once that he was about 200 lbs when he played, and the guys on each side of him were about 160 lbs. Back in those days they didn't lift weights because they thought it would limit your agility. To shed more light on his relationship with his father, even with Papa's dynamic sports career, his father never attended one of his games. Papa always said he would never let that happen to his kids. After graduating with his degree, Papa was drafted by the Edmonton Eskimos of the Canadian Football league. He signed a contract for $1,960.00.
After his short professional football career, Papa began interviewing for coaching positions. I need to interject here that Papa RARELY spoke about himself, so later in his life I was always finding out interesting things I'd never known. (...Such as the fact that he had taught himself to play the piano!) A few years ago I found out that he had interviewed to be head coach of BYU's football team. I asked him about it and I said, "Wow, Papa, you interviewed to be a coach at BYU? I didn't know that!" He said, as though it was nothing (and not the "trying to be modest so I'm going to sound as though it was nothing." No, it really sounded like it meant nothing to him.) "Yeah, they offered me head coach before Lavell Edwards coached there." I asked him why he didn't take it and he told me that the arrangement didn't stack up to his personal sportsman's ethics. He was offered to hire on under the head coach and then take his position in a year. Papa felt that it would be unfair to the coach already there and walked away from the offer. After the birth of his first child, Papa decided to stay closer to home for work and took a sales job, then went into business for himself installing specialty building materials in the southern California area. The company was called Pace Ross Company, Inc.
During college, the movie industry would hire athletes from UCLA to work as extras in Hollywood. I found papa on IMDb, the Internet Movie Database.
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0655132/
His roles were in such films as "High and the Mighty" with John Wayne. My dad, uncles and aunt would get a kick out of seeing Papa act as a flight controller where you saw his back during an important scene. Other films included Sparticus, The Day the Earth Stood Still, Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, and Jim Thorpe-All American where Papa had to use every bit of his limited acting skills to "fake" missing a tackle.
The highlight of Papa's life was his introduction to Elizabeth Ann Cawrey on a blind date at Corona del Mar State Beach. They were there with their fraternity/sorority and while Papa was showing off his volleyball prowess he ripped his swim trunks. He asked Mema to help him sew them up, which she did gladly. They were together ever since. They were married in Westwood in December of 1950. They remained together for nearly 58 years.
During his early years, the church was not a big part of Papa's life. Even though Mema was also from an LDS background, their activity waned. Papa said later that he was grateful for valiant home teachers that helped him keep in touch with the church through the sports program. After my dad's birth, Mema contracted kidney infections. During the illness Mema was so sick, and her fever so high that her doctor said she might not make it. Papa got on his knees and promised the Lord that if He would intervene on her behalf he would be faithful to the Church the remainder of his life. His prayer was answered. This changed the direction for Papa and his family and would have eternal consequences. Temple marriages, all sons serving missions, 7 grandsons serving missions with more to follow, and granddaughters with their righteous examples. In all, thousands have felt the influence of that decision.
Papa served in various church callings, but none he loved more than Home Teacher. He felt as though that calling played a huge role in his life and he needed to share the same with others.
Mema and Papa moved to Monarch Beach in Dana Point, CA. They loved their views of Catalina Island and overlooking the 10th hole of the golf course they lived on. Mema and Papa said one of the most difficult issues they came across when they moved to Dana Point was that everyone seemed to be a USC fan. When I married Eric I tried to keep it under the radar that his family were huge SC fans. In the year or two before Mema passed away she actually bought Eric a USC sweatshirt, a huge gesture showing that they loved him so much that they even accepted that he rooted for their eternal rival. (I can almost 100% guarantee that she never showed Papa that gift.)
Perhaps the strongest personality trait I observed in Papa was his competitiveness. To be honest, it was nerve-wracking sitting next to him when he visited to watch someone's sports game. You were always wondering if he'd get in a fight or get kicked out. When Eric and I lived in the valley briefly I was always a little nervous to point out that he was my grandfather, not knowing if the person I was talking to had ever faced him in a church sporting event. Even in a good game of croquet in the backyard with his grandkids he played to win. Not a joke. But we loved him for it, and I can't deny that some of that trait passed directly to me.
He was tough. I remember when I had some sort of blood producing injury in his backyard when I was younger that he was the one who came over to advise me how best to get blood out of clothes. Don't put it under hot water, he stressed, just cool. At my mother's funeral, we were all sitting in the chairs they perch precariously on the grassy cemetery hills. Near the end his chair tipped over and he fell onto the ground near the tent stake. Eric ran over to see if he was hurt and told me later that Papa had put his hand out to brace himself during the fall and had landed right on the tent stake. It pierced deep into his hand. He watched as papa looked at it, and without making a sound or saying a word simply pulled it right out and threw it away. Then he covered up his injured hand with the other and assumed a demeanor that said the matter was closed. He also didn't complain much. When he was in the hospital at the end, I knew he'd had a procedure that is typically very painful. I asked him about it and if it hurt and he said (kind of surprised), "No, not really, no." Maybe he just didn't feel pain.
Papa adored Mema. He would do anything for her--not always with a sweet spirit, but he would always do it. He was a tough and gruff man. But she was like perfume, lipstick and high heels with adamantium just under the surface. Socially she was masterful, but she was also equal to Ironman Pace. And like the greatest men, he'd always bend his iron will to her. My brothers and sisters and I used to joke about her being "beauty" and him being the "beast." But we also knew who ultimately won the arguments. One of my favorite sounds to remember is the way Mema would exasperatedly say his name, "Gaaaayyle!!"
Papa was a fantastic grandpa and I loved being his granddaughter. He always made me feel beautiful and unique and supported. I felt like I must be special if I was part of his posterity. I love you, Papa!
