Happy Birthday, Mom

It would have been your 56th. I can just imagine you giving me a mock-distressed look and telling me not to tell everyone. But you didn't really care about that, things like age and looking perfect and young. Maybe that's because you aged so gracefully you didn't need to worry about that, but I think it's more. The essence of you is composed by things that are REAL. Things that matter. You have so many spiritual gifts and talents that we all admire, and I am trying to emulate them to carry on your legacy. I have a long way to go. Some of the qualities I admire in you most:

~Your selflessness. You cared about everyone else more than yourself. You spent all your time taking care of us. You didn't have pride to get in the way of building up everyone else. The humility you possessed was tangible.

~Your sensitivity. You felt things sharply, especially because of the way you never intended any ill will to anyone else. When you felt it directed at yourself, it hurt deeply. You needed harmony and peace for you to thrive, which meant you were always striving to have the spirit with you and in our home. You could not be lulled into complacency.

~ Your innocence. You kept yourself safe from the influences of the world. You were so childlike. You were able to keep things simple, and in that I mean that you stuck to the only things that matter when all is said and done. You were able to cut through all the distractions and seize hold of what is crucial. Some would have the perspective that you missed out on worldly things—rather, you strived to miss out on none of the nuances of the critical things. You always kept your priorities correctly ranked and on your mind.

~Your long-suffering. You didn't have an easy life. You went through a lot of hard things and gained the ability to empathize with many people. But you overcame it all by the way you endlessly turned the other cheek and remained mild, kind, hopeful and joyful. Many things you said and did told me without a doubt that your best friend and confidant was the Savior, Jesus Christ.

I miss you so much, mom. We love you. Happy Birthday.

_ _ _ _, said Cruise

So tonight Eric says, we really need to make sure we record all the funny things Cruise says because you know we're going to forget them. I said, "We need to record them?" He said, "By 'we' I mean you." So here is the list I've been keeping for the last 8 or so months that I will now transfer to this more secure location, and you can enjoy as well.


-My poor kids are zoo deprived. I took Cruise a few times in San Francisco, probably 2 years ago, and he hasn't been since. I guess some things were solidly impressed upon his mind because several months ago we walked out of our apartment and noticed a thoroughly unpleasant smell wafting toward us from the nearby lake. Cruise scrunches up his nose and yells, "Smells like flamingos!!" Shocked, I asked him, "You remember what flamingos smell like?" He nodded, "Mm-hm. Like that."

-Sometimes Eric calls me Big-Mama. Last time he called me this, Cruise goes, "Yeah, you're a big mom. You're a huge mom!"

-When Cruise was first learning to draw I saw a circle he'd drawn and said, "Wow, nice drawing! Is that someone's face?" He looked up at me with a bewildered look and said, "No, it's a circle." Like duh.

-I'm sure many kids have tried this, but yes, occasionally Cruise will ask to go in time out so he can get out of going to bed.

-For some reason when I put my hair in a pony tail Cruise sometimes tells me to take it out. "Take your pony out. I like it long."

-We have a tickle-me-elmo. We also use electric toothbrushes. Cruise goes, "Elmo must have a toothbrush inside him."

-One morning Cruise said to me excitedly, "My chin is scratchy! I'm getting big! ...oh, it's just from cereal."

-There was a statue in a park and I pointed it out to Cruise. He said sadly, "Oh...he's not free."

-Cruise found a tiny gecko. In our apartment. After letting it go I made him wash his hands and told him it may have gone to the bathroom on his hands. "Animals go potty, too?? That's coooool!"

-My brother was babysitting for me when Cruise asked him, "Do you shave your legs?"Jared said, "No, do you?" "Well, my dad does, but not my mom." What?

-We were playing a game with different challenge levels. I told him, "This challenge is a huge one." He said, "Yeah, it's for adult kids."

-Cruise loves the transformer Bumblebee. He even made up a song about him. I wish you could hear him sing it. "Bumblebee, Bumblebee, yeah!" And again. And again. Sometimes he adds more, like "He's really strong and he gets the bad guys. Makes the sad people feel better."

-When he goes to bed he pretty much makes us do night time stories and songs that are akin to Whose Line Is It Anyways?
          Me: Once upon a time there was a....
          Cruise: Transformer.
          Me: And he was....
          Cruise: A bad transformer!
          Me: Named....
          Cruise: Megatron!
You get the idea. Then when the story is done he'll tell us exactly what we need to sing about (basically make up a story that we have to sing). If I tell him I don't know that song he tells me I can make one up. As we sing he'll throw out more things we have to add in. It feels pretty good when we actually come up with anything that rhymes or makes sense musically. Luckily it's mostly effort that matters to him.

-As we were driving: "Those are pretty trees. They're pretty because Jesus decorated them." I think he means "created" but I like decorated better.

-He was telling me and Eric he is going to be a dad someday and have kids of his own. We said, "Oh yeah? How many?" "Plenty of 'em."

-Me: Look at daddy's big muscles. Cruise: Yeah! Just like yours, mom!

-He was playing at a friend's and asked his mommy to do something. She said she probably couldn't do it, but he said, "You can do it! Mommies are strong!"

-Layne had a bruise on her arm. Cruise looked at the color and said, "It looks like a 'blues!'" Haha. Clever.

-It was raining, but he wanted to go out and blow bubbles. I told him we couldn't because it was raining. He told me, "We can use the bubbles to pop the rain!" I think he meant the other way around.

-When watching General Conference, "Mom, are they in heaven?"

-He saw me use the garbage disposal and then casually asked, "You still have fingers?"

-He's at this stage where he and his friends try to one-up each other a bit. The other day his friend said, "I'm as fast as a jet!" Cruise replies, "Well I'm as fast as a school bus!!" Yeah.

-I don't know WHAT I was thinking when I let him have a white board and markers in his room during quiet time. I told him not to color on the walls or carpet or furniture. And he didn't. But he did draw on every inch of himself. It was quite impressive.

-For a few days Cruise was really concerned about Daddy being gone. And Eric had a super easy schedule at the time! He said, "Dad, you don't have to be a doctor. I just want you to be a dad." Then the next day he said to me, "Some kids don't have moms or dads." I told him I knew that and it was very sad. "Yeah," he said, "because they're doctors."


During Christmas season:
-I was wearing a sweater with a big cowl neck. Cruise says, "Hey mom, you got your hood on backwards."

-We walked into ToysRUs and Cruise was AWESTRUCK. What he said surprised me, though. "Oooooooooooh!! Plastic!!"

-We got a book that tells the story of the little drummer boy and Eric and I have been singing that song to Cruise a lot. He calls it the Rum-pum-pum-pum song. One day he saw Justin Bieber on TV playing his drums and he's like, "It's Rum-pum-pum-pum!!"

-I'm not sure why, maybe from the song santa baby and all the talk about baby Jesus, but Cruise keeps talking about waiting for baby Santa. Think we need to clarify between the secular and the non.

-In one sacrament meeting I whispered in Cruise's ear, "Remember Jesus died for you?" He replied, "Yes, because He paid for me." "That's right!" I said. He continued, "Yes, he worked for me. He fixed me." So precious.

WE LOVE THAT BOY.

With the gecko he found.

First self-portrait